What Happened?

Where did I go? When did I leave?

I was once someone completely different, who thought completely differently.

What happened...to me? And how do I come back? Did I completely die now?

Only because...I need to come back. Everything I care about rests on that. Or does it...?

Just...I used to have so much more fire. I used to be so fresh.

Now I've grown old...and rotten. Or just blank, like a stone. I've been weathered and beaten down.

But even that is not me. THIS is not who I really am. So where did I go? How do I come back?


I can only take myself to a certain point before its too much. Man can only learn so much of what it is to be man and to live on this Earth. I just kept striving higher and higher until...I'm gone into space, and I can't find myself anymore. My fears and worries and thoughts...they were normal things, things from feelings, and things from sight. Things people have.. But my mind has gone too far...and its split. I just need to come back... I just need to come back...

The Last Frontier

And so...I've been looking through my old blogs and stuff...but I've found that I really don't have any left, except for Myspace.
I mean, its not like I need to look back on those times, but I miss them now. Well not the times, but the remembrance. I had something I could look back on that just screamed "this happened" and "I was there". But they're all gone now. 'Tis a shame.

But we all move along. And I am fine with that. And so here, and the fated Myspace become now my final frontier of blogging, of giving my deepest, most inner thoughts, to prove that I am here now.
Though I am not much, I never was, there was certainly a time I thought that I was all that and a bag of chips. But I can say I have quite humbled in recent years. So you won't find any "pity me" blogs, you won't find over exaggerated explanations of my misery, which I can really say I don't have too much of right now. But one thing you will always find with me...awkward wordings and random archaic words in my sentences.

As we said misery, let's just think on what misery I even have. Ok I can think of only one real thing. I am in no emotional pain, nor am I in any spiritual pain. I am quite content with those areas of my life :-)
ITS PHYSICAL PAIN. When will this headache end?! My body is like death. But that's...just something you gotta live with. No deep thoughts here.

There are always two sides to the story. And there are two ends of the spectrum. There is the hurt, and there is the joy. Sometimes one's hurt is another's joy, sometimes one's joy is another's hurt. Sometimes one's hurt is another's hurt as well, and the same with joy. But we won't make this too confusing for the casual reader.
In life, I wish to say we all find that joy, but I know better that hurt is much more prevalent in it all. But to those who find that joy, it's something you just cannot let go of. It becomes too precious, and you hold onto it with all you can. And there is nothing wrong with that.
So I say to all of those who have found what they're looking for, keep it, hold it, never let it go. Don't take anything for granted. Keep what's important, important. Let go of what is useless and vain.
And to those who still haven't found what they're looking for, keep looking. The best advice I can ever give is nothing short of an urge. And the best gift I can ever give is nothing short of love. And the best I can ever be is nothing short of me.




I'm not down and out just yet, kids. Come to me, sweet ibuprofen!

Towards Forever

Time truly is an odd thing, ya know. As autumn approaches, and the weather begins to cool, I think of ice, and of time. Sometimes we wish we could return to the past, to an easier time, and sometimes even a happier time. Sometimes we love where we are, and want time to stand still, to never change from how it is, and sometimes we long for these times to change, for the future to come so soon.
There was once a piece of my life where Time was my worst enemy. What I wanted was in the past, my future looked horrid, and I could not stop the decay of time. But, times have changed. I have grown. I have seen. And now I am no longer trapped in those chains of time, no longer trapped in those chains of ignorance. Life is a constant growing and changing. But this is a message to those who have not come here yet, who are trapped.
In life there will always be problems, troubles. But also life is growing. We grow, we learn, we move one from the pain. Though sometimes we have pains that seem to never go away, permanent lacerations. Maybe they will not go away, but we all gain things to mask it, we get used to it, it gets a little easier to deal with. That I assure you.
You learn what is important. You learn to keep it.
And you learn to throw away what is unimportant.

We'll Fly Tonight

Its been a while since we last talked, oh dear blog. A while indeed. Times have changed. Now I am out of high school. But hear about me, is not the purpose of this! Its to spill my mind into the world! I saw a show today, the theme of which was that everyone makes their own reality. What does that have to do with what I have to say? Not much really, there is only one reality. Maybe many different ways to perceive it, but one reality nonetheless.
But verily, I need something. I have been lacking something in my creativeness as of late. I have 3 groups of 3, and a 4th group, and an alien. Well kinda. This year is tying up loose ends. Either way I know not where to go from where I am. I have a group of government FBI agents etc., a group who believes the way the world is run is wrong and thus are taking over, the fourth is made of a reporter and her cameraman, and an archeologist, and the third group...well thats the problem. WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

And Im pretty sure Im immune to strep throat now.

I'll fill my next post with something much deeper next time. But this is enough for tonight. Welcome me back!

Seven - Something or another

And so I post another one. Things have been going smoothly indeed, all is going according to plan. So my Bubble Existence has been finalized, moving on, we find ourselves nearing the end. The true identity of Elba must be realized as Aziz, so I must introduce a tiny bit about Aziz himself.
And that is where his palace comes in. Im thinking a very Japanese feel to him, as is in most of the Mind Existence. It has been hidden and abandoned by him for a very (very) long time, and taken by something else. It is within a "kingdom" that only appears during the first full moon of the season at midnight, and the window into it lasts but only an hour. And it appears by some random lake. I dunno. I'll name it after one of the moon's maria or something.

But enough about that, and more about the good things in life. I got my haircut. I definitely needed it, I can't stand having hair as long as I did. I can't pull off short hair, but I don't like hyper long girly hair. And so it is cut.
I got nothing else to say.

Unfortunately 2 in 1 Day - 6 - IPod Project

Dominic Allen

Narwhals:
Power Point
Showing how cool they are in hopes of limiting the killing of innocent Narwhals.
Pictures
Interesting info + dangers they have
Probably some background music

What I need is an Ipod to put this on, and just some brief research online, including finding images and music.

- Because Narwhals really are just SO cool.

5 - Life, Circles, and 2

Ok so I'm like sick or something, my throat has been killing me recently. And I was supposed to go to a concert last night but when we got there they told us they were sold out. That wasn't too happy. But I am glad this week is almost over, I NEED the weekend. I need to sleep in, I have got like, no sleep all week. Even more no sleep than I usually get.
Well, I suppose I should get on a topic now. A topic of...life. Life has been going on since the dawn of life, and creatures that live just have to live through it. I really just hate this keyboard, I'm sorry, its just getting to me... Anyway thats life. The end.

My story has now hit its general season of inactivity now, as usually happens. I get going on something, I get stuck, I get a break, it starts over again. A cycle. A circle.
Which is one of the reasons circles are the best shapes. It never ends, it is predictable, it doesn't break. Circles are really nice...unlike triangles. In triangles, how can you pick one side over the other? It goes, but there are three different angles involved! When in life things come in two, add a third and there is problems. Make the two a circle and things are good. But no, no need for threesomes goin' on around here.
While on the topic of threes and twos, two is a pretty sweet number anyway. Like I said, things in life come in twos, in pairs. So much so that Im not even going to list it. But two is good. But so is three, three is perfect, because though life comes in twos, there is always that third piece that does not come so easily. Mind, body, spirit now! (And truly, that fabled Third Way through life does not exist. In the world of good and evil, there is no middle ground, and yet that is where we are. Our grey is only to make people feel better about themselves, because people are generally wayyyy too prideful...but I shouldn't be talking.) My number is 22, so that just makes 2 even better anyway. But enough of this.
Fare thee well kids, until next time.